All's Fair in Love and War
by Elesterie
Summary: Syaoran and Sakura plot against one another in, what they find themselves, an adolescent school war. The stakes are high, as emotions soar ... after all, all’s fair in love ... and war.
1. The Two New Students

**Title: **All's Fair in Love and War

**Author: **Elesterie__

**Genre: **Humour/Romance

**Rated: **PG13

**Summary:**

Syaoran Li, with his entourage of Eriol and Julian, find themselves in the middle of a humorous senior high school war with the two new girls. As attacks are being planned, love blossoms in the air...or is it so? After all, all's fair in love and war...with a little clash of humour...[Title change from 'Falling for Love']****

**Disclaimer: **

I won't bother say what I am meant to say...actually, I think I'll go on the safe side. Me don't own nothing...wait a minute...that's saying that I own _something_...don't get that double negative thing...ack, aw well, I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura, and neither do you (unless someone from CLAMP reads this...ARGH! I take it back now!) ****

**Note:**

The characters are all in 1oth grade (with the exception of some older characters)

There is NO magic...just the use of the characters. They also have no background together.

**This story was also once called 'Falling for Love.'**

Chapter 1

**Cardcaptor**** Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie___

The Two New Students

Syaoran walked in with a couple of his mates. They were laughing over some joke which he had said.

"Hey Syaoran," a couple of girls said.

As the girls walked past, Eriol started to crack up.

"Man, aren't those chicks hot...and what did you do? Just said nothin'. I would have at least said, 'Talk to my friend Eriol."

"Yeah, and tell them what a freak you are?"

"Sounds about right," Eriol said.

The guys started to crack up.

"Seriously Eriol, get a life!" Julian asked.

"Hey in case your wondering, I do have one...it's with you, babe."

"Nani? Who are you?"

"Hehe...I'm your worst enemy."

"Oh my God, you're a homo!"

"Bingo," Eriol chuckled, delighted, "Nah, just kidding, hun."

"Hey dude, I'm _not _interested in guys."

Syaoran watched his two mates debate whether or not they were interested in one another. It was like watching a tennis match. _Except a tennis match results to a trophy, not your friends becoming homos. _

R-I-I-I-I-N-N-G

"Aw damn...better get to class..." Syaoaran muttered. But in fact, he was overjoyed. Watching Eriol and Julian argue wasn't exactly his cuppa.

Eriol and Julian merely grunted a response before parting with Syaoran. Eriol had dragged Julian by the arm away from Syaoran so they could have some _private _time.

"Hey Julian, I guess it's just you and me, baby," Eriol said.

"Argh! Get away from me! HENTAI!"

* * *

Syaoran looked out the window. Every now and then, a girl turn around and give him a _you__'re-so-damn-cute-and-I'm-interested _look.

He really didn't like it, but it kept Eriol jealous. Syaoran would receive a whisper every now and then, something like, "Hey, that girl – she just – how come I get no fun?"

"Eriol, what are you saying to Mr. Li?" the teacher asked.

"I-I…er…asked him if he…er…wanted to go out with me after school?" Eriol said before thinking. Only after had he said it, he realized what he had just said.

The whole class cracked up.

"Well, if I hadn't had this important news to tell you, then I would have sent you to detention. But you need to now this information as well. So you have been let off, and please, next time you ever fantasize Mr. Li with you after school, please don't let the whole class know."

"Uh…yes m'am."

Julian chucked an eraser at Eriol, "OUCH! WHAT IN THE – "

"The teacher is a male, not a female. Call him 'sir', next time, not 'madam,'" Julian whispered loudly, causing the whole class to crack up once again.

"Eriol!" the teacher shouted, causing the class to immediately stop laughing and Eriol is shrink down in his seat.

"Now, to the news. I'm delighted to say that we have 2 new students in our class. Everyone, please welcome Miss Sakura Kinomoto and Miss Tomoyo Daidouji."

The girl on the left had auburn locks, and stunningly fascinating emerald eyes. But her clothes were another matter. She was wearing a black and white striped dress, something out of the 50's. The girl on the left had dark shiny hair and amethyst eyes. She too, looked weird, in her baggy tracksuit pants and her fluffy rabbit top.

"Now, Miss Kinomoto, please sit in front of Mr. Li. Syaoran, please raise your arm. Miss Daidouji, please sit a desk across Miss Kinomoto, the one in front of the class comedian Eriol."

"Ar, thanks sir. I feel privileged that you acknowledge me," Eriol yelled out.

Syaoran obediently raised his arm. The girl just gave him one look in the eye and sat down. And that was about all that happened during form. So Syaoran resumed looking out the window, not wanting to watch the teacher have a blast at Eriol.

* * *

"Man, did you see how hot that girl who was sitting in front of you?" Eriol asked excitedly at lunch.

The guys all tuned in, except Syaoran. He had enough of the girl in front of her. Staring at the back of her head for 4 periods made him not interested at all.

"You know, that Kinomoto has a big head," Syaoaran added in the conversation.

"Now I mean it, seriously, Chiharu is like hot, but like that Sakura girl, whoah, she is like hot."

Julian yawned and said "What's the difference?"

"Now look – " Eriol started but Syaoran cut in.

"Wait Eriol, aren't you meant to be interested in _Julian_?"

Syaoran and Eriol cracked up, while Julian was enraged that Syaoran still considered Eriol to be an item.

"HEY! Nothing happened. It was just a fling," Julian argued. _Baka__ Julian, it wasn't even a fling!_

"Hey Syaoran," a voice said behind them.

"Hi Chiharu," Eriol said cheerfully.

Chiharu gave Eriol a withering look, that read _'How dare you talk to me,'_ but apparently had some other things on her mind. She ignored Eriol and said, "What's up with the new girls?"

All three boys and Chiharu looked over at Sakura and Tomoyo, who were sitting on their own and talking among themselves.

"I mean, seriously, they have NO fashion sense. So why are you guys even bothering talking about them?" she asked.

"Because they are something you aren't – HOT," Eriol replied.

Chiharu gave him another withered look and stalked off to her own friends.

"But I do agree with you on the fashion sense thing," Eriol called out after her, hoping he didn't offend her.

"Nice one. I dunno how I am supposed to survive with her sweet talk," Syaoran sighed.

"Man, sitting together, they look like they're from the zoo! A zebra and a rabbit..." Julian commented, making the boys all laugh.

* * *

"Hey Syaoran, let's go up and talk to them," Eriol said excited. They were still at lunch, but for the past 1o minutes, the two boys have been talking about nothing apart from the two girls. Julian had gone somewhere unknown [my guess is that he wanted to get away from a particular homo...]

"Ok" the two boys walked up to the table with Sakura and Tomoyo.

"Hi, um…I'm Eriol and this here is my good friend Syaoran," Eriol said to Sakura and Tomoyo.

"Hi" Sakura said, smiling as though she wished she would be anywhere but here.

"Syaoran!" someone called from across the room.

"Eriol, let's go," Syaoran hissed and dragged him over.

"Bye!!" Tomoyo yelled, and then muttered to Sakura, "Hope you go to Hell."

"Not much of a welcome, huh?" Eriol said.

Chiharu, who was there said, "I told you they won't talk. They're so up themselves, seriously. No wonder why they have no friends."

"Well, I don't see YOU talking to them," Syaoran pointed out.

"Hey, I don't hang around losers. They just don't fit in," Chiharu said.

"Like you do?" Syaoran muttered.

"Get lost, Syaoran," Chiharu said.

"You know you can never stay away from me baby," Eriol finished off for Syaoran.

* * *

"Ok class, this is something where you work with pairs. You must be able to analyze the text and answer the questions."

"And wait," the teacher said, as she saw the girls pair up with the girls and the guys pair up with the guys, "You must work with someone the opposite gender."

Everyone groaned.

Syaoran was bombarded by many looks from girls. He knew that they wanted to work with him. Especially Chiharu. But seeing that all these girls were lined up with him and refused to go with another, the teacher paired up the pairs. The only girls that weren't lining up for Syaoran was Sakura Kinomoto and Tomoyo Daidouji. As fate would have it, Syaoran ended up with Sakura.

"Just my luck," Syaoran groaned.

"Great...Tomoyo, I thought you sent them to Hell...?"

"Ok, now let's start working."

Sakura turned around to face Syaoran. It took them 1o minutes before they started talking about the extract.

"Like Atticus had a choice. He was a goner," Syaoran muttered.

"But at least he showed compassion as a man to Tom," Sakura argued.

"Yeah, well, I doubt I'd called that compassion. In the end he lost hope."

"Yeah, well, he's like you then. Giving up hope on question 3," Sakura joked.

Syaoran must've been really dazed and thinking of what Chiharu said because he made the most stupid mistake.

"Yeah, well, that means that you are like Tom, someone who just doesn't fit in."

* * *

_If anyone is interested, the comprehension piece they are working on is 'To kill a mockingbird'. I know it is a crappy chapter, but best to get all the detail in. I hope you all like this chapter, and if so, please RR. Wait til you read chapter 7...it's sooo funny!_

_elesterie___


	2. The Declaration Of War

Chapter 2

**Cardcaptor**** Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War__

_Elesterie___

The Declaration Of War

Syaoran regretted what he said as soon as he said it.

Sakura just gave him one look, and ran from class with tears in her eyes.

Tomoyo turned to him, gave him a _I-don't-want-to-even-KNOW-what-you-did _look, turned to Eriol who was her partner, slapped him, stood up and walked off after Sakura.

Everyone watched her go. Then they turned to stare of Syaoran. He looked away, his face bright red.

* * *

"Dude," Eriol said, "what did you do? I was getting along just _fine_ with that Daidouji girl, and next thing you know, she slaps me!" 

"Nothing," Syaoran grunted.

"Hey, if that was nothing, then do you think she would have tears in her eyes," Julian pointed out.

"Well baby, I had tears in my eyes when you said you didn't love me," Eriol said.

"SHUDDUP!" Julian and Li shouted.

"We've got a real crisis here," Li muttered.

"Ok, ok...fine...just to let you know, Daidouji and I weren't even talking if that makes you feel better. We were having a glaring contest."

"Hey Syaoran, nice doing to the new girl," a voice said behind him.

"Hey Chiharu," Eriol said.

"Get lost," she said to Eriol and turned to Syaoran to give him her full attention.

"She deserved it, her and her good-for-nothing friend."

"And like YOU don't deserve it?" Julian said.

The guys cracked up.

"Never speak to a girl like that," and she left.

"Well, anyway, stuff them. They can go cry," Syaoran said, thinking about Sakura and her friend.

"Hey baby, if you said that to me, then –" Eriol started but never finished.

"SHUDDUP ERIOL!"

* * *

"Touya, I'm home..." Sakura said, not shouting as usual.

"Hmm, what's wrong now? Not your usual clumsy self?" Touya said, coming down the stairs.

"Whatever baka, look, I'm going to sleep." And she walked past him.

"Hmm, what's wrong with her this time?" Touya muttered as his sweet little sister slowly dragged herself up the stairs.

* * *

"Hey Syaoran."

A voice said behind him and he turned, thinking it was Chiharu. But it wasn't, it was Sakura. It was the next day, and Sakura had a long think

"Hmm, now when were we on speaking terms?" Syaoran questioned.

"Yeah, and when were YOU allowed to call HIM Syaoran?" Julian sniggered.

"I-I just wanted to say that-that if you wanted to apologize, you don't have to. And if you wanted to be friends..." but she never finished.

"In her dreams," Eriol said.

"Look girl, I don't talk to loners." And that was the end of their conversation.

* * *

Before class had actually started, Sakura and Tomoyo were already there nice and early. Sakura had been blown off by Syaoran, and decided to take refuge in the classroom. Only to find Tomoyo there, being picked on by Chiharu and her no good friends.

Everyone knew that they weren't on Syaoran's good side.

"So girl, what's with the clothes? The hair? The dog?" Chiharu sneered.

"What dog?" Sakura asked.

"THAT dog," Chiharu said, pointing at Tomoyo.

Tomoyo stared at her, tears welling up in her eyes, and she ran off.

"Ok, look, I don't know what's up, but you seriously have a problem. The clothes? I'm wearing school uniform for crying out loud. The hair? This is my normal hair, natural colour and style. The dog? Well, you're the dog. The bitch. Now if you excuse me..." Sakura walked to the door, only to come face-to-face with Syaoran. _Great...baka alert. _

"Tomoyo!" and Sakura ran after her, pushing past Syaoran.

The boys who had just arrived, turned around, surprised at what had happened, and then turned to Chiharu.

"I did nothing," was her answer, "She started to yell at me and she ran off with her dog – oops, I mean friend."

"Yeah, whatever Chiharu," the boys said, turning away to sit down at their desks.

Who would believe in Chiharu anyway?

* * *

Sakura and Tomoyo walked into the cafeteria, and as soon as they walked in, Syaoran couldn't help shouting, "SULKS!"

They ignored him. From then on, everyone knew that these girls were on his bad side, and nobody ever went against Syaoran. He was the most popular guy in school and his family was so rich. Who dared to be on his bad side?

"Hey, I thought you didn't believe in Chiharu," Julian said.

"Yeah, but you know me, I can't help insulting them," Syaoran growled.

"Is it that or is it that you like that girl?" Julian asked. Syaoran turned bright red. Eriol, apparently, had other things on his mind.

Eriol turned to Julian and said, "Baby, if you even dare to insult me, I will – "

"Shuddup Eriol!" Julian snarled.

Eriol squealed and hid under the table. After a few minutes, he popped up his head and said, "Darling, please don't use that tone of voice on me again – "

"SHUDDUP ERIOL!" Julian roared.

Eriol quickly scrambled beneath the table, while everyone around them started laughing.

"You want me to prove it to you Julian? I'll make her the biggest loser there is. See, everyone won't even dare be her friend!"

"Sure...the last time you proved something to me, you tried to prove that your rubber ducky was faster than my Lizzy, my lizard. And in the end your rubber ducky didn't even move! You always lose at that sort of stuff!" Julian laughed.

"Julian, that was in first grade. I'm not that stupid now."

* * *

"Hey Sakura," a voice said behind her. She was busily munching on a corn chip and she didn't want to be interrupted.

Sakura turned around and saw Syaoran.

"Funny, isn't it? Anyway, when were we on speaking terms?"

"Hey, look, I was wondering Sakura whether – "

"Hey DON'T CALL ME SAKURA, OK?"

"Huh? When were you so...up yourself?" Syaoran asked, startled that she had shouted at him.

"Hmm, let's think…," Sakura started, saying it sarcastically, "EVER SINCE I MET YOU!" Sakura shouted.

"What's wrong with you woman?" Syaoran said.

"GET LOST LI, OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY BACK TO CHINA!"

"Why should I listen to you?" Syaoran growled.

"FINE! I DECLARE WAR WITH YOU, SYAORAN LI!"

Sakura ran off and pushed through the crowd. The crowd consisted of everyone in the cafeteria, since everyone heard Syaoran and Sakura arguing.

"Man, that girl NEEDS to be tamed," Julian said.

"Yeah, well not by my man," a voice purred behind them.

"I am not yours, Chiharu," Syaoran sighed.

"Who says?"

"I do."

"FINE THEN!" and she walked off.

"Jeez, what's up these girls these days?" Eriol commented.

* * *

"So, I'll guess I'll see you all tomorrow, ok?" Syaoran said to Eriol and Julian as school ended for the day.

"YEAH, BUT AT LEAST YOU'LL BE DRY TOMORROW!" a voice above them said.

Before they knew it, a bucket of water was poured on top of them.

"PERFECT!" Tomoyo yelled and did a high-five with Sakura from the top of the balcony.

"HAVE YOU HEARD OF WATER RESTICTIONS?" Syaoran yelled.

"NO! AND I DON'T CARE!"

"I'll get you Kinomoto, if it is the last thing I do!" Syaoran yelled.

"I'm soaking wet!" Eriol exclaimed and turned to Julian, who was also wet, "Baby, if I –"

"SHUUDUP ERIOL!" Julian yelled.

Tomoyo giggled at them.

"What are you laughing at?" Eriol demanded.

"You," Tomoyo said cheerfully.

"I'm gonna get you," Eriol yelled.

The two girls looked at each other and yelled together, "CATCH US IF YOU BOTH CAN!"

The girls fled down the stairs and through a back door and ran. Behind them, two idiots were chasing them.

"Tomoyo, SPLIT UP!" Sakura yelled.

"Right on, sis!"

Sakura turned left, Tomoyo turned right.

"Hey Eriol, catch the girl. I'm after Kinomoto," Syaoran yelled.

"What?!" Eriol shouted.

"Catch the girl!"

"Which girl?"

"That one," and Syaoran pointed to Tomoyo.

"Huh?"

"Dude, you need glasses."

"I already have them."

"Well, do you want me to break them?"

"Why?"

"Coz you can't even see the girl you're chasing!"

"Yes I can," and Eriol pointed to Tomoyo.

"SERIOSLY ERIOL, HOW SLOW CAN YOU BE?!"

* * *

"HAHA, you can't catch me!" Tomoyo yelled.

"Oh, is that so?" Eriol shouted, accusingly.

"Yeah, you wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE GINGERBREAD MAN!" Tomoyo laughed.

"The gingerbread man?" Eriol stopped to a halt, "I don't get that."

Eriol examined his hands. _Are my hands made out of gingerbread? Mmm...yum...bite OWWWWWW, my hands aren't made of gingerbread!! Wait a minute..._And as soon as he looked up, Tomoyo was out of sight.

"DAMN! Now Syaoran is gonna kill me, I totally stuffed it up!" Eriol whimpered.

* * *

"HAHA, you'll never catch me, Li!"

"Just you wait, Kinomoto, until I get my hands on you."

"Hands ON ME?"

"Yeah, hands ON YOU"

"Are you a pervert?"

"A WHAT?!" Syaoran nearly tripped.

"You said you wanted to get your hands ON ME."

"I didn't – I didn't…"

"HAHA" Sakura was laughing so much she wasn't paying much attention to her speed.

"Haha, caught you." And Syaoran grabbed Sakura.

"ARGH!" and the both of them fell, tumbled and stopped.

Syaoran was on top of Sakura and he stared into her emerald eyes. And she stared back.

* * *

_Oooh__, wonder what happens next, eh? Reviews please!! I thoroughly enjoy them. I hope you like the revised version on chapter 2..._

_Elesterie _


	3. The One Shot Attacks

Chapter 3

**Cardcaptor Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie_

The One Shot Attacks

They stared into each others eyes for a minute or so. Syaoran gazed into her eyes and for that moment, all he wanted to do was kiss. Sakura had the same thought in mind. Sakura then realized who was on top of her and she yelped.

"RAPE, RAPE!" Sakura shouted out.

Syaoran looked horrified.

"I – I…"

"RAPE, I TELL YOU, IT'S RAPE!" After she shouted that, Sakura smiled at him.

"What – what are you doing?"

Sakura smiled at him and said, "Remember, war? Pay back. All's fair in love and war."

"RAPE!" She yelled out once more.

"Is that you kaijuu?" a voice said behind them.

"TOUYA! What are you doing here?" Sakura asked. _Oh my God...my brother just saw me under a guy...how am I going to explain this one? _

"Hmm, I heard someone shout RAPE and I know your voice," Touya replied. He then jerked at Syaoran's direction, "Who's the gaki?"

"GAKI?!" Syaoran roared.

"Hey dude, were you trying to rape my sister?" Touya asked.

"NO!"

"Are you sure? Now look, if I hear one more thing about you, then – " Touya never finished.

"Touya! Leave him alone! It was a joke!" Saukra snarled.

Syaoran blushed.

"Ok, but gaki, if I hear that you touched my sister, I will – "

"TOUYA! He's not worth our time. C'mon, Fujitaka will be waiting for us," Sakura said exasperated, not wanting Touya to offend Syaoran.

Syaoran got off Sakura, who stood up and stood beside her brother, who was glaring at Syaoran. And at that, they both walked off.

* * *

"Hi, can I please speak to Eriol?" Syaoran mumbled into the receiver of the telephone. It was evening, and Syaoran had so much to tell his good friend.

"Hey Syaoran," Eriol said cheerfully. In his mind, Eriol hoped Syaoran wouldn't ask what had happened with his chase with Tomoyo.

"Hey Eriol," Syaoran said, he blushed at what he was going to say, "um…look, you know that chase…um…well I kinda did something…"

And Syaoran explained everything that happened between him and Sakura. In the end, Eriol was in tears.

"Haha, funny story, gaki."

"HEY!"

"Ok, ok..."

"Now, tell me about your catch," Syaoran said.

Eriol turned white.

"Um...nah, I don't feel like."

"ERIOL! I just told you what happened to me!"

"Okay then...mumble mumble..."

And Eriol told Syaoran his running story.

"HAHA, gingerbread man…that's a classic," Syaoran laughed, nearly wetting his pants.

"It's NOT FUNNY!" Eriol said.

"Ok, ok..." Syaoran muttered, "so what are we going to do now? Both girls humiliated us...we need to pay them back!"

* * *

Sakura and Tomoyo walked cheerfully to class.

As they walked past their enemies, they decided to remind them of their failure yesterday.

"Hey gaki," Sakura said to Syaoran.

"Hey gingerbread man," Tomoyo said to Eriol.

They both turned to Julian.

"Um…Hey ga-bread-ki-man" they said together. They both burst out laughing.

Sakura and Tomoyo grinned at one another, and took a sit at their desk. The boys started to laugh. Sakura shot Tomoyo a look, and Tomoyo shrugged.

R-I-I-I-I-N-N-N-G

The teacher came in.

"Good morning class."

Sakura moved in closer to her table. But there was something wrong...

"THERE'S A SEAT GLUED TO MY ASS!" Sakura shouted and stood up.

"ARGH, THE SEAT IS STUCK TO MY BUTT!" Tomoyo yelled.

The guys started to crack up.

"YOU IDIOTS!!" Sakura and Tomoyo yelled at them.

"Ok, I'm sure there's something we can do," the teacher said, trying to calm the whole class down. Sakura and Tomoyo had daggers in their eyes.

* * *

"I can't believe the stupid gaki and his friends would do that," Sakura exclaimed to Tomoyo. They were standing outside the class, and they had to change their school skirts, using the ones from lost property.

"I know, DAMN! I hate this skirt," Tomoyo pointed to her skirt, "Lost property definitely needs to be lightened up, my dress is so LONG!"

"Yeah, at lest your dress isn't as short as mine..." Sakura exclaimed, "You can see my knickers!"

"Hey," a voice behind them said.

"I'm Chiharu…um…you wanna be friends?"

"What's the catch?" Sakura snarled. She didn't believe Chiharu at all after their argument.

"Nothing... I guess...it's just...those guys are getting on my nerve and I wanna help..."

"Really? SCORE! You're in!" Tomoyo said excitedly.

"So...how are we going to kick their butts?"

"He...we have a Japanese test next...what about if we..." and only whispers could be heard.

* * *

"Psst – Syaoran, when did Chiharu start hanging around Sakura and Madison?" Eriol whispered.

"I dunno..." he looked up and saw Tomoyo passing a note to Chiharu, who then read it and gave the thumbs up to Sakura.

"Ok class, time for the Japanese test you're all have been wanting to do so much," the teacher said.

The whole class groaned.

"Pass out the test papers, Yamazaki."

After 5 minutes into the test, Eriol whispered, "Syaoran, what's the answer to Question 3? Julian chucked an eraser at me for the answer and I don't know!"

"It's – " but Syaoran stopped.

The whole class was staring at the three of them.

He then saw Sakura secure something safely into under her desk. It was a to switch.

"Eriol and Julian, what do you think you are doing? Asking for answers?" the teacher asked, breaking the silence.

* * *

"DAMN! How did they do that?" Eriol said.

"Dunno, but looks like we're in some serious crap," Julian muttered. They were standing outside the classroom for the rest of the lesson. As soon as the bell rang, Sakura, Tomoyo and Chiharu walked past them, giggling.

* * *

Sakura, Tomoyo and Chiharu were walking out of the school corridor, as the school day was over, when they suddenly slid across the floor and fell backwards.

"Ow…" the girls groaned.

"Who in their right mind would leave a puddle of water in the middle of the school corridor?" Tomoyo demanded.

"Hoeeeeeeee," Sakura said, rubbing her head.

"Payback," Eriol appeared, looking over them.

"Water on the floor is just as effective as water from the air," Julian observed.

"Nice fashion, girls," Syaoran smirked.

"SHUDDUP!" the girls stood up and chased the guys.

"GOOD RIDDANCE!"

* * *

_I made Chiharu nice, because I really didn't want her to be mean...anyway, the entourage of Syaoran is Eriol and Julian, so I needed two girls to back up Sakura to make it just as fair. Please review!! _

_elesterie_


	4. The List Of Humiliation

Chapter 4

**Cardcaptor**** Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie___

The List Of Humiliation

Sakura, Tomoyo and Chiharu gave up catching the boys, and let them run.

"NANI? How dare a boy like Syaoran get out of my grasp?" Sakura moaned.

"Hmm, looks like we're winning..." Tomoyo muttered to herself.

"What do you mean, Tomoyo?"

"Have a look at this list," was her reply.

**US: **

_Water over head_

_Chase, resulting to them not catching us (except for Sakura who had a romantic encounter)_

_New nicknames_

_Microphone_

**THEM:**

_Glue on seats_

_Water on floor_

_Chase, we weren't able to catch them_

"TOMOYO! Why did you write romantic encounter?" Sakura demanded.

"Because"

"What happened?" Chiharu asked.

"Nothing, nothing at all….nothing really, it was really nothing…"

"Oh come one, Sakura, get a LIFE!" Tomoyo commented.

"NO! Tomoyo, don't you dare!"

"I'm going to tell Chiharu," Tomoyo sang, repeating it over and over again, "I'm going to tell Chiharu!"

"TOMOYO!" Sakura whined.

"I'm going to tell Chiharu."

"ONEGAI!" Sakura begged.

"I'm going to tell Chiharu."

"FINE, I'll tell her then," Sakura said, annoyed.

Sakura told her story and ended up blushing.

"Oooooh, Sakura...that was sooo romantic," Chiharu giggled.

"You didn't tell me about the rape part," Tomoyo accused.

"Yeah, well, I thought you had enough to laugh about..." Sakura muttered.

* * *

Eriol quickly wrote something on his notepad. He quickly pocketed it and muttered, "We're losing."

"Wassup?" Julian murmured, apparently breathing hard. They had ran all the way to the park and had lost sight of the girls.

"Look at this."

**THE COOLIES:**

_Seats on their butts_

_Slipping magic_

_Chase, they gave up._

**THE GIRLIES:**

_Rain_

_Catch and kill (except Syaoran and Sakura played 'Catch and Kiss')_

_Ga-bread-ki-man___

_Japanese answers_

"WHAT?!" Syaoran fumed, as he read the 'Catch and kill' part.

"Hey Eriol, what's with the names of the attacks?" Julian asked, confused.

"What names?"

"These names, like 'Slipping magic'?"

"Oh…you see, we slipped them."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"No, you're just too stupid, sweetheart," Eriol said in a very girlish voice.

"Shut up, Eriol," Julian said, still tired.

"Dear, if we don't tell the truth to each other, how are we going to be parents?"

"WHAT?!" Julian said, apparently not tired out. Syaoran was laughing in the background.

"I mean, you might be unfaithful to me."

"Yeah, what about you?" Julian snarled.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT, LOVE?" Eriol said, starting to cry, "YOU KNOW – SOB – THAT OUR LOVE MEANS EVERYTHING – SOB – TO ME!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Syaoran laughed.

"Ok, ok..." Julian grumbled, "SHUDDUP ERIOL AND SYAORAN!"

"Ok, ok…" Syaoran and Eriol mumbled, "COOL DOWN, JULIAN!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Syaoran, MY JULIAN DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE GANGED UP AGAINST!"

"YES HE DOES!"

"NO HE DOESN'T!" Eriol yelled.

"YES HE DOES!"

"NO HE DOESN'T"

"YES I DO!" Julian shouted.

They all started to crack up.

"But seriously dudes, we need to figure out something!"

"What about this?" Syaoran said and told them his plan.

Eriol laughed. "Syaoran, you are what the Spanish call, 'El Cheapo'"

* * *

Sakura arrived at school the next day, apparently all energetic. For once, in her whole entire life, she was early!

She walked, and then she heard a certain sniggering, and next thing she knew, she tripped, and saw Syaoran, Eriol and Julian.

"Sakura!" Tomoyo yelled out. Tomoyo, who was right behind Sakura, ran out to help Sakura.

Next thing Tomoyo knew, was that she saw Syaoran and Julian run off. She turned, and tripped, because Eriol had his foot out.

And he ran off. Chiharu, who just came in, saw Tomoyo and Sakura on the ground, and ran to them. Then, Julian's shoe appeared, and she tripped.

The guys combined, and walked past. They were sniggering at the girls.

"SYAORAN!" Sakura screamed.

"ERIOL!" Tomoyo yelled.

"JULIAN!" Chiharu shouted.

The boys started whistling innocently.

"BAKA ga-bread-ki-men!" Sakura, Tomoyo and Chiharu yelled.

* * *

"Hi gaki," Sakura said loudly, smiling innocently.

"Hi gingerbread man," Tomoyo said loudly, sweetly blinking her eyes.

"Hi ga-ki-bread-MAN," Chiharu said loudly, flicking her hair swiftly.

The girls all inspected their chair first, and then sat down.

"Why did they just say hi?" Eriol asked.

"Dunno," Julian replied.

Chiharu whispered something to Rika, who sat in the seat in front of her. Tomoyo suddenly whispered something to Yamazaki, who sat in front of her. Sakura, then, whispered something in Naoko's ear.

And they passed onto the next people. And then those people passed it on to the people in front of them and so on and so forth. So everybody got the message. Except for Syaoran, Eriol and Julian, who all sat behind Sakura, Tomoyo and Chiharu.

Suddenly, Yamazaki came up to Eriol and said, "Hey gingerbread man."

"WHAT?!" Eriol yelled.

"Mr. Hiiragizawa, why are you yelling in class?" the teacher asked.

"I – I…" Eriol stuttered, trying to think up a excuse.

"Mr. Li just turned him down," Tomoyo answered for him, winking at Eriol.

"I – I did...what?!" Eriol asked.

"Yeah," Sakura said, catching on what Tomoyo was on about, "you see, Eriol asked Syaoran whether he wanted to go out..."

Syaoran stared at Sakura.

"And," Chiharu took up the story, "Julian was a bit jealous, and mimicked Syaoran's voice and said 'no'…"

Julian opened his mouth in surprise.

"And that was why Eriol shouted out," Tomoyo finished.

Everyone cracked up laughing.

"NO! That's no right! I mean, it's not right…it's seriously isn't!" the three guys said.

The teacher smiled and said, "Next time Mr. Hiiragizawa, if you need an excuse, please don't rely on Miss Daidouji."

The teacher turned and Tomoyo winked at Eriol, while whispering, "Don't ya just LOVE my excuses?"

* * *

"Hmm, we're winning by two!" Tomoyo exclaimed.

"Why do you even bother counting, Tomoyo?" Chiharu asked.

"Yeah, I mean, does anyone else?" Sakura asked innocently.

"Well...I'll marry the person who does," Tomoyo said mystically.

All three girls cracked up at the thought.

"And if you don't find the person?" Chiharu asked, her eyes full of tears.

"WAIT! What about if he is a total idiot?" Sakura asked.

"I don't care...if he fits me, that's all that matters!" Tomoyo said dramatically, like a soap start in a soapie. All girls burst out laughing, with Sakura and Chiharu patting Tomoyo's shoulder with sympathy.

* * *

"They're winning by two…" Eriol muttered.

"What's up with you dude?" Julian asked.

"Yeah, I mean, who counts the times when their butts have been kicked?" Syaoran asked.

"I do."

"Yeah…jeez, I'll feel sorry for your wife!" Julian joked.

"Hey, I'm YOUR wife, dear," Eriol said.

"SHUDDUP!"

"Whatever…" Syaoran said, "You think you'll find someone as WEIRD as you, Eriol?"

"Yeah, and if I do, I'll marry her."

"And what if she is a total freak?" Julian asked.

"Hey, aren't you a freak?" Eriol said.

* * *

_PLEASE REVIEW! Yeah, so let's see how many I get…I might update quicker…oh well, keep those reviews coming!!_

_elesterie___


	5. The Love Cafe

Chapter 5

**Cardcaptor Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie_

The Love Cafe

"Hey Julian," Yamazaki turned up suddenly behind them. They were crowded around Syaoran's desk. Syaoran was leaning backwards on his chair, Julian was standing still and looking out the window and Eriol was leaning against Syaoran's desk.

"What?!" Julian said, annoyed that he was disturbed.

"Are you playing with Chiharu?"

"What?!!! I – I..." Julian blushed.

"She's mine," Yamazaki growled.

"JULIAN, darling!" Eriol cried, "You CHEATED ON ME!!"

"WHAT?!" Julian asked.

"YOU CHEATED ON ME! WE HAVE A LOUSY RELATIONSHIP!" Eriol yelled.

The whole class turned to them.

"Eriol, remember, be cool," Syaoran whispered.

"What? Oh yeah..."

Syaoran looked at the spectators and said, "What are you guys looking at? None of your business if you ask me."

Sakura stared at him, her eyes bulging, and stood up and said, "Yeah, well, not our fault you had to make it some kind of show!"

"I was not making it a show!"

"Yes you were"

"No I wasn't"

"Yes you were"

"Weren't"

"Were"

"Weren't"

They kept arguing, so they didn't even notice the teacher come in.

"Mr Li and Miss Kinomoto, what's the matter?"

"Huh?!" they both said.

Tomoyo watched the situation, decided it would be fun to play matchmaker, stood up and said, "Well, you see, Syaoran here asked Sakura out."

Eriol saw the flow and continued, "Sakura said yes, and then Syaoran said yes as well."

Chiharu continued, "And then they had an argument on who asked who out. Sakura claimed that Syaoran was the one who asked her out..."

"And Syaoran accused Sakura of asking him out!" Julian said cheerfully.

Sakura and Syaoran glared at them in horror.

"Well, in any case, Mr Li and Miss Kinomoto, you will BOTH have a detention after school. Next time, please do not involve your school life in your more...ah, personal matters. "

Tomoyo and Chiharu did a secret high-five.

Eriol and Julian did the secret handshake.

Sakura and Syaoran had their mouths wide-open.

* * *

Tomoyo and Chiharu watched Sakura eating her lunch and whispered something to each other. Then, out of nowhere, Tomoyo said, "Sakura, I dare you to go out with Syaoran."

Sakura nearly choked to death on her salad sandwich.

"You WHAT?!"

"Come one, Sakura," Chiharu coaxed, "then dump him when he's in love with you."

Sakura thought about it and replied.

"OK."

Little did she know, that across the cafeteria Syaoran also took the same dare from Eriol and Julian.

* * *

"Mr. Li and Miss Kinomoto, all you have to do is write lines. 100 lines of 'I will not talk in class'. That's all...oh wait, and 'I will also not involve my private matters with my school life.' I expect these lines finished and handed in on a clean sheet of paper," and the teacher walked off.

"Hoeeee. 100 lines!!"

"It's not that hard," Syaoran snapped.

"Yeah, well, who asked you?"

"You did."

"I did not."

"Did so."

"Did not."

"Jeez, I was only commenting, you don't need to bite my head off!"

"Yeah, it's fun. We'll be spending some REAL QUALITY TIME TOGETHER!" Sakura said sarcastically.

"I hope you don't mean that."

"I don't"

"Good, because you were starting to scare me."

"Don't get your hopes up. Like I'd wanna spend time with some gaki, anyway."

"GAKI?!"

"Shut up! At the rate we're going, we're not even get to 10 lines!"

After what seemed like eternity, both Syaoran and Sakura finished writing lines. They were trying so hard to beat each other. Sometimes Syaoran would chuck a pencil at Sakura's big head so he could buy time, and once Sakura pretended to faint, and when Syaoran came over to help, she kicked him the shins, making him howl with pain.

"Ahh, my hands kill…hoeee, Touya's gonna kill me for being this late home."

"Wanna have a snack?" Syaoran said out of nowhere as they walked out of school, and was pointing at a café.

"Huh?!" Sakura asked, apparently taken aback that he had asked her.

"Jeez, can't I even get a normal talk with you?" Syaoran said.

Sakura then remembered her dare. Syaoran, too, had his dare in mind.

"Sure," Sakura said, and ran ahead of him.

"Last one there's a rotten egg!" she shouted.

Syaoran yelled, "Hey, that's not fair!" and ran after her.

* * *

"Sorry kids, this café is for COUPLES only."

"Huh?!"

"You have to be a couple to be in this café."

"Oh."

Sakura and Syaoran headed off. Why was everyone directing them into being a couple?

"I'm sooooooooo hungry…" Sakura whimpered.

"Jeez, it takes like 15 minutes for my chauffeur to get here…DAMN!" Syaoran muttered.

"Gaki, I'm really hungry…"

Syaoran stared at the café…it was the only place near…he then said, "We'll have to act like a couple then."

"Fine with me!" Sakura said and stomped over there, dragging Syaoran.

"You kids again? I said it was for COUPLES ONLY!"

"Oh," Sakura said, and put her arm through Syaoran's and leaned on him.

"We are," she said sweetly.

"Oh, sorry about that then. Please go in."

"Jeez, that was hard work," Sakura muttered under her breathe, "I an NOT doing that again." And she took her arm out of Syaoran's and walked as far away as possible from him.

They took a seat. Syaoran called his chauffeur, while Sakura ordered some food.

"Um, sir?" the waiter said, "Please, you must be a couple to eat something."

"We are."

"Then, sir, why are you sitting opposite her?"

Syaoran looked around and saw couples sitting next to each other. He shifted and moved next to Sakura, who had daggers in her eyes.

"Thanks you for reminding me."

"Who said you could sit next to me?" Sakura growled.

"What else do you expect me to do? Take a punch at him?"

"Whatever. I'm hungry, look, the food has arrived!"

"I'm not hungry."

"Um, sir?" the waiter said, "You might want to read the rules."

The waiter handed Syaoran a sheet. Syaoran looked at it.

**'RULES'**

_1. __You must BE a couple_

_2. __You have to sit next to your partner, not opposite._

_3. __If you are not eating, you must either put a hand around your partner's shoulder or waist._

Syaoran read rule number 3 and nearly vomited. Luckily he didn't read rule number 4.

"Are you okay sir?" the waiter said.

"Um…I think I'll eat something…" Syaoran said. But he really didn't feel like eating. After he had received a few glares from the waiters, he put his arm around Sakura.

"Do you MIND?" Sakura said, "I was happily enjoying my food before you had to do THAT!"

"Sorry, you might want to read the rules." At that, Syaoran pointed to rule number 3.

"Then eat something, DAMN IT!"

"I don't feel like it."

"Fine, now this food is to waste. Your hands around me poison the food. Let's go." And Sakura stood up.

"Um, madam?" the waiter turned up again.

"What?"

"Er…read rule number 4 please."

She read it, and was about to throw up.

"I'm outta here," and she ran out of the café, taking the bottle of Fanta with her.

Syaoran read the rule and nearly threw up himself.

_4. After dinner, before you leave, you must kiss to show us the love you have for your partner._

And he ran out.

Tomoyo and Eriol, who were hiding behind the counter did a hi-five.

"Thanks to your money, and my brains, we got them to throw up!" Eriol said happily.

"Like you have any brains," Tomoyo muttered, "We are still at war, Hiiragizawa...remember that," and Tomoyo walked off.

* * *

He found Sakura outside. He also saw a limo.

"Look, it's my chauffeur; want me to drive you home?"

"I guess."

In the limo, Sakura gave the chauffeur her address.

She then turned to him and said, "Weird café, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I know."

Sakura was as pale as a sheet.

"They had pretty funny rules as well."

"Yeah, I guess."

They both had their dare in mind.

"Sakura – "

"Syaoran – "

They both said that the same time.

"You go first."

"No, you."

"Same time?"

"Ok."

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"

* * *

_They FINALLY asked each other out. HAHA, and the café sure was weird!! Don't worry, they won't fall in love soon!! Well review and I'll be real quiet. I have to think up some more jokes. Bye! _

_elesterie_


	6. The Power Of Fanta

Chapter 6

**Cardcaptor**** Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie___

The Power Of Fanta

They both stared at each other, their mouths WIDE open.

"I...I...can't believe..." Sakura started.

"Did you just…did I drink last night?" Syaoran asked, confused.

"Huh?"

"Oops, I don't drink."

"I wasn't talking about that."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"OK, SHUT UP NOW!" they both shouted.

"So…"

"Yeah…er…so…."

"What's your answer?"

"What's YOUR answer?"

"I asked you first!" Sakura said.

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't"

"Yes I did."

"No you di – " But Syaoran stopped.

"WAAAAAAAHHH! I did. sniff Leave me sniff alone sniff sniff"

"er…don't cry…I didn't mean to er...um...if you want, you can get out of the limo...we have finally arrived at your house...but please don't cry..."

"Matte." Sakura turned so her back was to him, and shook something in her hand.

"Happy birthday, Syaoran!" Sakura said cheerfully, and opened the bottle of Fanta in her hand, which she nicked from the weird cafe. It exploded everywhere.

"HAHA, your limo, HAHA" and Sakura departed the limo and ran off into her house.

* * *

"Eriol, why didn't you do your homework?"

"Um...my dog at it...?"

"You don't have a dog," Julian muttered.

"Syaoran ate it."

"HEY!!"

"Fine, Julian ate it then."

The class started to laugh.

Sakura turned to Tomoyo and whispered, "How's the list? Add one point to us, because I totally wrecked Li's limo."

"YOU WERE IN LI'S LIMO??"

"Ssshhh, be quiet!! Yes I was, I'll tell you later.

* * *

"HAHA, I should've really taken my video camera. I would have got some lovely shots!!" Tomoyo commented. She took a sidewards glance at Chiharu and winked.

"It's NOT funny! I had to put my hands on Syaoran's. And it was NOT funny!"

Chiharu thought and said, "Still, it there were some real kawaii moments."

"Humph. The dare's over. I asked him and wrecked his limo instead. Good enough for me. What's our next plan anyway?"

"Fine. The dare's over. Don't worry, I have Eriol all under control." Tomoyo said.

* * *

"Eriol, Julian…you coming? You guys staying at my place, remember? To do you-know-what."

"Yeah, I'm coming Syaoran."

"Hey Eriol," a voice said behind him.

"What do YOU want?" Eriol asked Tomoyo.

"I baked some cookies for you. I made them especially for you. You know about _last_ night...when I accidentally ditched you. Please take this with my apologies."

"Oh, thanks."

* * *

_What's Tomoyo's plan? Anyway, I can't think of anything funny lately…any ideas? I promise next chapter will be funnier, because I have something in mind with Tomoyo's trick...Chapter 7, the funniest chapter you'll ever read, next up!_

_elesterie___


	7. The Mystery Of The Cookies

Chapter 7

**Cardcaptor**** Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie___

The Mystery Of The Cookies

Eriol held the cookies in his hands as though they were his prized possessions. It was morning, and Eriol was wide awake. He was so happy that Tomoyo gave them to him.

Eriol slyly sneaked into the guest room, which Syaoran was supposedly to be sleeping in, with the box of cookies in his hand. There he found Syaoran sleeping like a log.

"Syaoran, look," Eriol said.

Syaoran didn't even make a movement. Eriol shook him.

"Syaoran, just open your eyes and look at this."

Syaoran turned around, with his back facing Eriol. Eriol wasn't gonna give up! He took a cookie from the box and placed the box on a table nearby. He held up the cookie and said, "Syaoran, look at this cookie."

Syaoran continued to ignore him.

Eriol put both his hands on Syaoran, and pulled Syaoran up. He then put the cookie in front on Syaoran's face.

"Look at the cookies Tomoyo made for me," Eriol chirped happily.

Syaoran just yawned and continued to have his eyes closed.

"Tomoyo made cookies for ME, no one else, just ME!" Eriol boasted happily.

Syaoran opened one eye, glared at Eriol, moved forward and...

Ate the cookie.

"SYOARAN, HOW DARE YOU?! TOMOYO MADE THEM FOR ME NOT YOU! GIVE IT BACK!" Eriol shouted at the top of his lungs.

"ERIOL, IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR WAKING ME UP. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going back to sleep, thank you very much."

"YOU WON'T SLEEP BUDDY, UNTIL I GET IT BACK."

"FINE!" and Syaoran opened his mouth, "Try and get it back."

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?"

"Your problem, not mine," Syaoran said.

"SYAORAN!" and Eriol nearly strangled him.

The door creaked open, and in came in Julian. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Eriol on Syoaran's bed with his hands over him.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

"YES! I AM STRANGLING SYAORAN!" Eriol growled.

"Can't gasp breath gasp let.go" Syaoran gasped.

"Oh, for a minute there, I thought you guys were up to something."

"Yeah, we are. SYAORAN ATE MY COOKIE!"

"Cookie? All this for a cookie?" Julian asked, surprised.

"YES!"

"Oh, get a grip Eriol. We can just go down to the shops and buy another one. What's the deal?"

"NO, THESE BOX OF COOKIES – " and Eriol stopped dead in his tracks as he looked over to where he supposedly left the cookie box.

"munch munch Hey Eriol, these cookies are nice. You have to tell me where you bought them..." Julian stopped, when he saw Eriol expression, "What's up?"

"YOU'RE UP, JULIAN! GIVE ME BACK MY COOKIES!" and Eriol wrestled Julian to the ground.

Syaoran sat back and watched. "Hmm," and Syaoran picked up the box and ate the remaining of the cookies, "hey, Julian's right. There cookies are nice..."

"SYAORAN! JULIAN! YOU ATE MY PRECIOUS COOKIES!" and Eriol chased them all over the house.

* * *

Syaoran, Eriol and Julian ran for school. They were late.

"We are soooo late," Syaoran muttered.

"I WONDER WHY!" Eriol said angrily.

Eriol had not got over the fact that Syaoran AND Julian had eaten his cookies.

"What's the big deal? Just go back to the cookie shop and buy it again," Julian said.

"THAT'S A PROBLEM," Eriol said.

"What's a problem?" Julian asked.

"GETTING THOSE COOKIES AGAIN!"

"Why?"

"TOMOYO GAVE THEM TO ME! Oh no...she's gonna hate me for not eating them...oh God, WHY ME?! WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED?"

"Hey dude, don't take it so hard," Syaoran said, laughing his head off.

"TOMOYO? That's weird...isn't she meant to be our enemy?" Julian said.

"SYAORAN IT IS NOT FUNNY!" and Eriol chased Syaoran all the way to school, with Julian following behind.

* * *

"Tomoyo!! What did you do to Eriol?" Sakura asked.

"Something...just wait and see...that should be the reason why he is late"

Even though it was late, their homeroom teacher had not arrived yet.

"I can't wait!" Chiharu groaned, "What did you do to them?"

Atthat moment, Syaoran burst in the room, with Eriol right behind him.

"I thought you took care of him," Sakura murmured to Tomoyo.

"Where's Julian?" Chiharu asked.

"Oh, aren't you keen on Julian," Sakura smirked.

Chiharu blushed. Then came in Julian. Chiharu blushed even more when Sakura glared at her.

"Um...um...yeah, Tomoyo, didn't you take care of them?" Chiharu said, ignoring Sakura's glare.

"But – but...they are meant to be..."

But Tomoyo never finished. At that point, their homeroom teacher burst in the room. Tomoyo was so confused. Why wasn't it taking effect?

"Ok, I am sorry I am late. Just a traffic jam. Is everyone present?" the teacher started.

"Yessir," Julian said out loud, as though he were in charge of the class, "I am – " but he stopped. He turned an alarming shade of green and looked as though he was about to vomit.

"Julian?" Everyone turned to look at him, except Tomoyo, who leaned back and pretended not to notice.

Eriol turned to Julian, then turned to Syaoran with a questioning look, only to see Syaoran with an expression which almost mirrored Julian.

"Need.to.go.to.the.toilet," and they both ran out of the room, leaving a strange smell in the air.

Eriol was the only one left in the last row. He saw Sakura's and Chiharu's giggling directed at him, but Tomoyo wasn't laughing.

Then all of a sudden, the three girls burst into hysterics.

_ Wait a minute..._Eriol thought..._there's something not right...Syaoran and Julian got affected and I !_

"TOMOYO!" Eriol screamed.

* * *

_Hehe__...did it make you laugh? Maybe not...ha, well, it sure made me laugh!! I think I could just read this whole story again and laugh my head off, but that's just me..._

_elesterie___


	8. The Water With Soap

Chapter 8

**Cardcaptor Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie_

The Water With Soap

"Do you want more cookies?" Tomoyo asked innocently. Eriol, however, wasn't taking it lightly. He took one step toward her.

Tomoyo gave him one glance and ran. He chased her.

"Tomoyo, Eriol, stop this instant!" the teacher growled.

But neither of them listened. Tomoyo was laughing her head off, and Eriol was fuming, "TOMOYO, WHY DID YOU PUT LAXATIVE IN THOSE COOKIES?"

"MISS DAIDOUJII AND MR HIIRAGIZAWA, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP!" the teacher shouted, impatient.

They both stopped automatically.

"Now, for making me say it twice, you BOTH are in detention. I think...yes, scrubbing the cafeteria floor should do it for the whole of lunch."

"NANI?! BUT IT'S HIS/HER FAULT!!" the exclaimed in unison.

* * *

"I can't believe I am stuck with the gingerbread man for the whole of lunch..." Tomoyo muttered.

"Oh, it's not the end of the world, Tomoyo..." Sakura said, "you get to spend some real quality time with each other, just like the gaki and I last time," she added sarcastically.

"Very funny, Sakura."

They arrived at the doors of the cafeteria.

"Cheers," and Sakura and Chiharu walked in. Tomoyo followed, and went through the 'Staff Only' door.

"Oh, you must be the other student to help clean the floor here. Here's a mop, bucket with some soapy water and broom. Help yourself," the cafeteria lady said cheerfully and left.

Tomoyo turned around and saw Eriol scrubbing the floor.

"Hmm, maybe I can make him scrub the floor for me..." Tomoyo muttered to herself, "Maybe not..."

Tomoyo sighed. She really didn't want to be a janitor. Maybe she could provoke Eriol...

"Hey Eriol...can you take off your glasses?" Tomoyo asked, "I have never seen you without them, and I am pretty sure you will look really cute without them.." Tomoyo flattered.

"Um...sure..." Eriol let his guard down. He took off his glasses, blushing furiously.

"Hmm..." and Tomoyo raised the bucket of soapy water and spilled it over Eriol.

"Huh? Is it raining? Ow, my eyes sting..wait a minute, I'm BLIND!" Eriol shouted. He put his hands around him and felt around. Then he stood up and ran around, shouting, "I'M BLIND, I'M BLIND!"

Tomoyo was laughing hysterically. This was a classic. Eriol was sooo stupid!

"MUMMY! I AM BLIND. DADDY, I AM BLIND!" Eriol was running around in circles, crying out to each of his family members.

"UNCLE, I AM BLIND! AUNTY, I AM BLIND!"

Tomoyo had stopped laughing, this was going TOO far!

"Um..." and Tomoyo took her bucket, went to the tap, and filled it with crystal clear water. She then spilt it over Eriol's head.

"Huh? Wait a minute, my vision's coming back to me!!" Eriol exclaimed and turned and saw Tomoyo scrubbing the floor.

"er, Tomoyo? I was wondering whether I was...er, running around in circles saying that I was blind?"

no, not at all cough" Tomoyo was trying hard not to burst in giggles.

"Oh...ok then..."

Tomoyo couldn't take it. She had to laugh.

"Um..hehe...hahaha...HAHAHAHAHA."

Eriol stared at Tomoyo. Why was she laughing? Then it hit him.

"It wasn't raining was it? You – you did it!!!" Eriol exclaimed.

"um...no I didn't."

"Yes you did. You had the soapy water, you made me take off my glasses...and then you SPILT THE SOAPY WATER OVER MY HEAD!!"

"NO I DIDN'T!! Do you have evidence? NO YOU DON'T!"

"I DON'T NEED EVIDENCE, THE EVIDENCE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!"

"Not for long, Gingerbreadman," Tomoyo smirked and ran out of the room.

"YOU ARE SOOOO GONE, DAIDOUJII!!" Eriol shouted and chased after her.

Tomoyo ran out of the cafeteria, with a yelling Eriol behind her. It made everyone stare at their retreating backs as they raced out into the hall.

"Hey, wasn't that Tomoyo?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, and wasn't that Eriol was chasing her?" Chiharu asked.

The girls shook their heads. Tomoyo and Eriol were scrubbing floors, not playing stupid games.

* * *

"DAIDOUJII, YOU BETTER GIVE UP!"

"NO WAY!!!"

Eriol had chased Tomoyo out onto the school oval. Tomoyo was doing laps of the oval, with Eriol closely behind.

"Hey Daidoujii, you know, you'll never catch me," Eriol said.

"What? You're the one catching, not me."

"Yeah, I wonder why you don't want to catch...maybe you're a scaredy-cat."

"I AM NOT!" and Tomoyo turned around and chased Eriol.

"HAHAHAHA."

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" Tomoyo yelled.

"Hey, you'll never catch me."

"Oh yeah?"

"And you wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Because...because you're a...Barbie!!" Eriol yelled.

"WHAT!?" Tomoyo slowed down and stared at his retreating back, "HEY, THAT'S COPYRIGHT!!"

* * *

"Hey Tomoyo," Sakura said cheerfully, "How was lunch?" Tomoyo had trudged back to class, thinking about what Eriol said. _A Barbie? Nani? _

"Horrible...absolutely horrible..."

"Oh, it cant have been that bad," Chiharu commented.

"Believe me, it was..."

And Tomoyo told them the whole incident.

"A Barbie? Nani!?" the two girls said in unison.

"Don't ask..." and Tomoyo pulled out a list and wrote down some stuff...

It read:

**US: **

_Water over head_

_Chase, resulting to them not catching us (except for Sakura who had a romantic encounter)_

_New nicknames and telling everyone about them _

_Microphone_

_Saying that Syaoran and Eriol were going out in front of the teacher_

_Wrecked Syaoran's limo_

_Cookies with laxative _

_Blind man Eriol_

**THEM:**

_Glue on seats_

_Water on floor_

_Chase, we weren't able to catch them_

_Barbie??? _

**EXTRAS: **

_Saying that Syaoran and Sakura were going out in front of the class_

_Sakura and Syaoran in detention together_

_CAFÉ!!!!_

After Tomoyo had written down what she was writing, she smiled.

"Wow, we're winning by heaps!!"

"Give us a look...jeez, twice as much as them!!" and Sakura and Tomoyo did a little dance.

"But they're going to pay us back...I mean after all, they are the popular ones..." Chiharu said.

"Well, we'll be ready for it!!" Sakura said confidently.

Tomoyo and Chiharu did a high-five.

"Hey Tomoyo, you know what, we should add your detention with Eriol on that list," Sakura smirked.

"NO I AM NOT!!"

"THEN WHY DID YOU ADD MY DETENTION?"

"BECAUSE..."

"BECAUSE WHAT?" and Sakura grabbed the piece of paper off Tomoyo and quickly wrote something down. Tomoyo didn't want to tell her that she had a part in, not only the detention, the café as well.

"NOOO, SAKURA STOP IT!!"

"Aha, done!!" and Sakura chucked the piece of paper on the ground and sped off.

"Hmmm, WHAT?"

It read:

**EXTRAS: **

_Saying that Syaoran and Sakura were going out in front of the class_

_Sakura and Syaoran in detention together_

_CAFÉ!!!!_

_Scrubbing Eriol_

"NANI!? SAKURA, YOU'RE IN FOR IT!"

* * *

_Enjoy? Hope so...after all this revising, it should be easier to read. Reviews are especially welcomed!_

_elesterie_


	9. The Marriage With A Baby

Chapter 9

**Cardcaptor**** Sakura**

All's Fair in Love and War

_Elesterie___

The Marriage With A Baby

After Tomoyo nearly strangled Sakura, Sakura had a look at what she wrote.

"Oops, I forgot some words. I swear I didn't mean to write 'Scrubbing Eriol'..."

"Yeah right, you think I'm going to buy that?" Tomoyo said, annoyed.

"Scout's honour, I didn't."

"You aren't even a scout."

"Who said?"

"I did."

"Whatever. No if you don't mind, I'm fixing it up..."

Sakura snatched a pen from Tomoyo, turned away quickly, fixing up her error.

"Here we go, all nice and right..." she handed Tomoyo the piece of paper and walked off towards the door of the classroom.

"Let's see..." Tomoyo said, not noticing Sakura speeding up. Tomoyo scanned to the bottom, and read:

_ Scrubbing Eriol BIG TIME!!_

"SAKURA!!" Tomoyo yelled and saw Sakura at the classroom door, about to leave.

"er...Home Economics is over, Tomoyo...didn't you realise? I have a...er...French class after this..." and Sakura disappeared.

"SAKURA!!" and Tomoyo violently threw all her belongings in her bag and ran to the door, with her bag swung over her shoulder. She looked out, and saw Sakura hurrying up the stairs.

Tomoyo ran and hit into someone. Eriol.

She could hear laughing in the background. Sakura was having the time of her life!

Eriol was about to say something when Tomoyo cut in, "Sorry gingerbread man, but I have someone else to kill..." and Tomoyo ran off.

"FINE! Barbie-san, then, next time, let's make an appointment!" Eriol yelled.

Everyone stared at them. An appointment? Sounded like they were going out...

"Ooh, look how cute. Tomoyo and Eriol have made cute nicknames for each other!" Sakura mocked from the stairs. She was already on top of the flight of stairs.

Everyone started muttering to each other. So it was possible they were going out...

"WE HAVE NOT!" Eriol and Tomoyo yelled together.

"People, we are witnessing something called DENIAL! Apparently Eriol and Tomoyo are in the state of having living TOGETHER by The Nile," Sakura announced, from the flight of stairs.

"SAKURA!" Tomoyo yelled, "YOU ARE IN FOR IT, BIG!"

"Hahahaha..." Sakura was laughing her head off as she turned to the left to climb the next flight of stairs which lead to level 3. Apparently she was facing Tomoyo and laughing, not watching where she was going.

**-BUMP- **

"Hoeeee..." Sakura rubbed her head. She was on the floor, sitting on someone, the person she had hit into.

"Gomenasai..." Sakura started but never finished. One look at the chestnut hair told it all.

"HAHAHA, who's laughing now Sakura?" Tomoyo's voice rang into her ears.

"And why, may I ask, are you on top of me?"

Sakura ignored him and continued sitting on him.

"Hello? Do you know you are of the weight of an elephant?"

"Yeah, well, if I am Syaoran, and you can stand it, then you are a dinosaur."

"I AM NOT A DINOSAUR!!"

"See, you are even roaring like a dinosaur now!" Sakura pointed out.

"Stupid elephant..."

"Did I hear you say something?"

"You know, you might have planned this. We always end up on top of each other," Syaoran said, changing the topic.

"Yes. I planned all of this. I wanted to "accidentally" hit into you and fall on top of you," Sakura said sarcastically, "I've been dying to do that since the day we met. I live for you."

"What the hell?" Syaoran said, apparently not picking up Sakura's sarcasm, "you really are an elephant. Look at how clumsy you are!"

"Shut up Dinosaur."

"Ahh, look at the perfect couple. They've found pet names for each other, though elephant and dinosaur don't sound desirable at all..." Tomoyo said.

Everyone who had stopped to watch the whole incident laughed.

Sakura got off Syaoran, shook her head at him as though he were an alien from outer space and said, 'sad...just sad,' and went over Tomoyo. The girls walked off together, not even saying good bye to Eriol and Syaoran.

"Barbie san!!" Eriol howled like a wolf. Syaoran had got off the stairs, and was beside Eriol. He raised his eyebrows when Eriol said that.

"Barbie?"

Eriol gave him a look and asked, "Elephant?"

They both said together, "Don't ask."

* * *

"I can't believe that...he called me an elephant!!" Sakura exclaimed, "Am I really that fat?"

Sakura put her hands around her waist and tried to measure.

"You don't measure it that way!!" Tomoyo snapped, "Anyway, why do you care if he says your fat?"

"Oh my God, I am sooo fat..." Sakura muttered, ignoring what Tomoyo had said, "I'm sooo fat...I'm pregnant."

Tomoyo glared at her for a second, smirked and yelled, "EXTRA! EXTRA! SAKURA'S PREGNANT!!"

Everyone's attention in the corridor turned to Sakura. Even Syaoran, who was at the end of the corridor, was surprised.

"NANI?" Sakura yelled, as Tomoyo smirked.

"You even said it," Tomoyo muttered to her, "looks like I get my payback."

Everyone stared at Sakura, examining her body.

"HEY!! I said HEY!! STOP LOOKING AT ME, PEOPLE!" Sakura shrieked.

"It's only P.M.S...." Tomoyo said, patting Sakura sympathetically on the shoulder.

"I WANT MY MUMMY!!" Sakura whined.

"This is the 'craving' stage. Pregnant women will ask for weird things, and Sakura has just asked for her mother," Tomoyo informed the viewers.

"TOMOYO!!" Sakura screamed and dropped her bag. She gave Tomoyo a threatening glare, and chased after her.

"YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Eriol was having a joke with Syaoran.

"Wow, your groove is still on..." Eriol said jokingly to Syaoran.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, HIIRAGIZAWA?" Syaoran threatened.

"Well, it's obvious. You are having a child with Sakura. What a wonderful moment," Eriol mocked.

"I'M WARNING YOU TO SHUT UP!!" Syaoran growled.

"Oh, Syaoran and Sakura...sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Eriol sang, prancing around Syaoran.

"I MEAN IT, ERIOL!!"

"First comes...LOOOOVE; second comes MAAAARIAAGE," Eriol kept on singing, apparently amused.

"LAST TIME, HIIRAGIZAWA. IF YOU SAY THAT LAST SENTENCE...YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!"

Eriol stopped for a second, and said, while putting her finger on his chin; pretending to think, "Hmm, if I say it, Syaoran will kill me. If I don't say it, I will kill me!! Well, in any case, I'll die anyways..." and Eriol shouted, "THIRD COMES THE BABY...IN THE BAAAABY CAAARIAGE!!"

"THAT'S IT. YOU'LL WISH YOU'D NEVER LIVED," Syaoran said, his fist bunched. He gave Eriol a death glare and chased after him.

* * *

"I'm starving, man. All that running in the morning is making me hungry!!" Eriol complained to Syaoran. They were making their way to the cafeteria.

"WELL, if you hadn't mentioned all that stuff, then I wouldn't have strangled you..." Syaoran growled. He had been caught by a nearby teacher and nearly got shipped off into detention.

"Well, I was only stating the facts," Eriol said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Yeah, sure you were. Do you see me wearing a ring on my marriage finger? Do you see me and Sakura kissing? Do you see Sakura pushing around a baby carriage? Huh? HUH?" Syaoran accused.

"Hey man, chill..." Eriol grumbled.

"DO YOU SEE ME EVEN TALKING TO SAKURA? DO YOU SEE HER EVEN TALKING TO ME?" Syaoran yelled.

"Whoah, take some anotbiotics of something. You seriously have gone nuts...oh no, it's them!! It's Tomoyo...she's haunting me...she's put – she's put some kind of...DISEASE ON YOU!!" Eriol said horrified.

"What the hell?" Syaoran asked annoyed, "What's gotten into you now?"

Syaoran stepped closer to Eriol and was about to put his hands on Eriol's shoulders and shake the hell outta him, but Eriol stepped back.

"You've got a virus..." Eriol whispered frantically, "Tomoyo's got you under her spell..."

"Nani? I don't know what you've been reading these days..."

"GET AWAY FROM ME..."

"Eriol, earth to Eriol...wake up call..."

"VIRUS, DISEASE...argh, curse you Tomoyo, get these images out of my head!!" Eriol said horrifically and turned around and ran off like a maniac.

Syaoran raised his eyebrows, "Huh?" and sniffed his underpits, "No, it isn't me."

* * *

_I need some advice. Should this fic be short and sweet or long and detailed? I'm siding with the short and sweet part, seeing that 2 reviewers said so...but still, I need some views from everyone! Oh yeah, and 1 person asked it to be long. Your reviews are most welcome, so send them in!_

_elesterie___


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